Proverbs 13:12 Hope’s Journey

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

The Proverbs are filled with cause and effect — you do this, you get that — most which compel the reader toward choosing goodness, righteousness, diligence, and humility. Then Solomon pens this proverb. When I first read this, it seems like a passive observation rather than a call to action. Why is my hope delayed? And if it was within my power wouldn’t I want all my desires fulfilled and a huge banquet from that tree of life? Of course! So I’d like to explore the nuances behind this saying.

Deferred hope is when the expectation for something I want or believe in — the waiting, patience, endurance—is dragging on, and is prolonged beyond my capacity for waiting, which results in an effect on me and my body. My heart becomes heavy, discouraged, doubting. It’s beyond the time that I considered reasonable and I’ve endured waiting much too long, but now, I don’t know if I can take it any more. Deferred hope is the temptation to end my resistance and yield to the reality I am experiencing. To give in to the doubt and voices that are telling me something I don’t want to hear: “It’s not going to happen, accept it.” The result? I now project a different future. One that is darker. Less hopeful. A disappointment and pain enter my soul as I confront my new reality. And when my heart is sick, my body doesn’t take too much time in following. There is an incredible connection between what takes place in the mind and how it affects my physical body. The invisible thoughts have an affect on my visible health. Which reminds me of a similar connection between visible earth and invisible heaven. The world which I see reflects the unseen world where God dwells.

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Romans 1:20 NIV

So is it a surprise that what takes place in my heart and mind has a physical affect on my body, its health, and its DNA? There is a strong connection between physical health and emotional health. Lost faith creates a trauma for my soul and makes me question my place in this world along with my identity. This create a context for disease.

The topic of hope is powerful and foundational. I began Hope’s Journey to explore the nuances of faith and it’s effect on my soul.

The definition of Hope

Putting the shovel into the dirt, I want to dig deeper into the meaning of the word “hope.” It comes from the Hebrew tocheleth meaning, hope or expectation, from the root yachal meaning “to wait.” By implication, to be patient, hope, be pained, stay, tarry, trust, wait.

Wikipedia defines hope as: an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. As a verb, its definitions include: “expect with confidence” and “to cherish a desire with anticipation.”

Hope is powerful. It creates an energetic expectation inside if me. I find it difficult to disconnect hope from waiting. Integral to hope is my ability to wait for that thing of value. Patience. Endurance. Long-suffering. In a funny illustration, I watched my beloved Seattle Mariners make it to the playoffs this year. I didn’t want to watch the game so I tuned in to the highlights on mlb.com. Then I click on a video of a game-impacting play. But first up pops a 30 or 60 second advertisement. No exception. I must endure this ad for me to watch a 3 second play. Click! Close. Not worth my time. I don’t want to wait for that. Then I consider all the ads that I have endured to watch content that I value more. It’s a parental and employer tactic to dangle something out in front of someone in order to achieve a result. Make your bed for a week and I’ll make your favorite dessert. Finish your project on time and I’ll take the team out for lunch.

Deferred hope

In the context of life, those supremely valuable things that I choose to wait for tend to have much greater power over my soul. When dating, if I really like that girl, there is a crescendo of hope in my heart that she will like me as much as I like her. Does she say “yes” when I ask her on a date? Does she respond when I call her? Connecting with another person like this is life altering and something that speaks profoundly to my identity. I had a good friend who was an educator and helped middle and high school students connect the dots to their future career. One of her most important goals was to cut through the haze of career planning and chart both a clear and realistic course. For example, she took issue with the concept that “you can be whatever you want to be.” If you loved basketball and you were a really good shot, played daily, and dreamed of being in the NBA, that’s not a bad goal is it? It is if you are only 5’8”. What if you wanted to be a doctor? Sure, why not, right? It wouldn’t be aligned, or realistic if you had mediocre grades, came from a family with little or no experience in college, did not have the funds to support that type of education, and on top of all that, you didn’t like to read! Does your ambition for being a doctor seem realistic? My point — not all hope is aligned with reality.

Rather than accept this proverb as a passive “cause” (broken faith) and “effect” (sick heart or body) it is valuable to explore those objects of hope to which I cling and where they come from. If deferred hope is something over which I don’t control, then wouldn’t it make sense that I look at that object of hope — the thing over which I do have control — and ask, is it reasonable? Anything that for which I wait falls into categories: possible or impossible — or more accurately: likely, less likely, and not likely at all. Consequently it’s very important to qualify the source of my hope. Of course, a person may believe in anything he or she wishes, but the wish by itself doesn’t make it likely to happen. One may believe tomorrow the world will end, another will believe that it will continue forever. The real question is: who is telling you it will be one way or another? They both cannot be true. If a man tells a woman, “I love you and commit myself only to you for the rest of my life,” should you place your hope in him if he has been divorced three times, had an affair (with you), and already has difficulty keeping little commitments he has made? Past results are a strong indicator of future performance.

My personal experience with deferred hope was due to a view of life that I embraced from well-meaning people without enough qualification or challenge to those inputs. Faith is a wonderful thing, until my faith becomes even slightly misaligned. As a young man I was fully devoted to knowing God and knowing more about the Bible. In a sidestep from going to college for a liberal arts education, I chose to attend a Bible College. I recognized this didn’t set me up to be a productive citizen with skills I needed to contribute to the workforce, but it did help me clear up many fuzzy thoughts about faith, theology, history, and life. Religion is powerful and I wanted to ensure what I was choosing to believe was because of my own personal choice — not a default for lack of time. During this time, I accepted the proposition that if I devoted my life to this faith, God would supply all of my needs, often relying on Jesus words, “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these thing (clothes, food, shelter) will be added to you.” While this is true, what I didn’t respect is the requirement that a young man must also to be trained in how he would ultimately make a living and intersect my gift with the world’s need. It really was a cocky, proud position to believe that I could simply “believe” and engage in “kingdom activities” while I benefited from a system and culture about me that relied on educated, organized people willing to roll up their sleeves to deliver the services that make all of our lives what they are today (think, groceries, delivery services, transportation, medicine, etc.) I felt like my faith was somewhat superior to other’s because of my life-surrendering choices and sacrifices. Ironically, at the same time, I barely had enough money with which to live let alone buy a home and support a family. I thought surely, God will provide. I did have enough (I am typing this, right?) but it was anything but abundant. Internal prosperity of soul was missing. And the real tell? I felt like a victim to something out of my control. If I’m doing the right thing, shouldn’t it produce a result? I was convinced I was doing the right thing, so I was determined to add more perseverance. A waiting —or hope— that was deferred. It made my heart sick. Eventually I listened. Corrected my course. Accepted that learning vocation, training, and work are not bad things.

God CAN do things that seem impossible to me, including “supply all my needs,” raise the dead, pay taxes with a coin from a fish’s mouth, and even walk on water. He wants to heal the sick. But more important than knowing all he can do is knowing Him personally and where and WHY those marvelous miracles originate. Just because I want and claim something does not mean I am correctly aligned to receive it. Life teaches us this. For example, I love eating, but I can’t shout at my fridge to produce a meal. I love being in charge, but the desire alone doesn’t make me CEO or an elected official.

As I’m writing this, I can think of so many devastating things that have sickened people and have affected me personally. From broken relationships, to frustrated career ambitions, to injustice and poverty. Our adversary is all about stealing, killing, and destroying. Loss and suffering are part of the human experience. But there is something important to understand here: my Father wants me to be eating freely at his tree of life — despite my circumstances. My Shepherd came to give me life full and rich. Yet at the point my perseverance ends, my willingness to continue believing ceases, a transaction takes place in my heart. What will it be? I have a choice to make between one trajectory or another, and now I surrender to the reality in which I live every day — nothing is going to change.

Qualifying hope is not passive

When is hope justified and when is it simply a fantasy? This is the root of the question and there is no easy answer. Part of choosing to have hope involves the consideration for the personal expense it will cost me to maintain that hope if it is delayed. I want to consider three examples.

The first deals with my faith in God. I believe there is life after death — I have accepted the words and testimony I read of Jesus. So, I choose to maintain that hope in my salvation, despite any adversity on earth, even to the point of death. If I am ever required to make a choice, I will not love and value my own life and choose it above the redemption for which God has paid for me — even if I cannot see it.

In my second example, there is no right or wrong, rather a simple willingness to throw the dice for something I would or would not like. if there is someone I love and wish to marry and with whom I would like to raise a family and they ask me to wait for them while they finish college, am I willing? If so, I will hope for that graduation day. But what if that day comes and that person then throws in another delay, “First let me find my career and ensure my income level is sufficient to support our family”? Then another. And another. Am I willing to wait? Biologically, my clock is ticking. If I want to raise a family, I can only wait so long. At some point, I must put a limit on my hope with this person.

My last example comes from things that good-intentioned people teach me either directly or by their example. I trust what they say is true and embrace it. In this example I attend a fellowship where the leaders believe in an imminent second coming of Christ and that I and the rest of the members must be ready because time is short. So short, that I don’t have time to waste on things like going to College, cleaning up the environment (it’s all going to burn anyhow, right?), even getting married and having kids — since I wouldn’t want to risk them being affected by such an evil world. Don’t waste time mowing your lawn, fixing up your house, or getting into any long-term commitment with the world. Many of these teaching were things that congregations heard early in the 1900’s — as well as today. Zealous men, varying in their levels of application. Imagine truncating my experiences in life for something that did not and would not happen? Who told me how I should live life only to exchange it for, frankly, a lie? Was it God or one of his overzealous and misguided followers? It was not that man or any man’s job to live my life for me, it is mine. And if I had accepted such a proposition with its prescription for living, the fruitfulness of my life surely would be truncated. In fact, the trunk of the tree would be completely broken off! No life flowing from it at all. This level of hope and its consequent deferral would make many sick in soul and heart.

A tree of life

Solomon contrasts deferred hope with desire fulfilled. There is something so deeply satisfying and life-giving when the thing for which I am hoping becomes reality. Especially when the scales of time would desperately attempt to push “hope” into hopelessness. Libraries and movies are filled with so many stories of endurance then hope that appear to have supernatural realization that bring one to tears of joy. Hope, God’s hope, the promises that He has made to me and will fulfill, will not disappoint. He is reliable. His character is inscrutable and he has the ability to do what he says. The challenge for all people is listening and hearing his voice. It’s not difficult, but one must stop busyness in order to listen.

Desire fulfilled is a tree of life. A tree is a good contrast to broken endurance. It has roots that explore the earth deeply, seeking water and stability. From that foundation comes a tree above ground and visible, flourishing, growing and providing leaves, flower, and fruit. It’s alive, healthy, sustaining, enduring. It may withstand long darkness in winter, withering heat in the summer, years of drought, yet it remains. Alive. Giving life. The tree of life in the Garden, was intended for man to eat from its fruit and example and live forever. It first contains life and then becomes life-sustaining.

When the LORD brought back the captivity of Zion, We were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us, And we are glad.

Psalms126:1-3NKJV

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Romans 8:32 NKJV

And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

John16:23-24NKJV

God wants me to ask, and receive. Period. Jesus showed his followers how to live at the nexus of earth and heaven in all joy and peace and fulfillment. Stress free. Fulfilled. Deeply satisfied. Growing so that others may eat freely front the fruit and abundance in my life.

Although at first glance this proverb seems to be about things outside of my control, surprisingly, it’s about grasping the real and responsible control in my life that begins in my heart, in faith.

Yet, on earth the inevitable failure will arrive. To stay well I must guard my heart and consider a few things: is my expectation realistic? Am I confident I have heard from the Holy Spirit? Endurance is always stretching, do I need to apply my heart to have more patience? When considering the hope which is being threatened with deferral, should I keep it, kill it or change it? (The expectation, not the person failing me!) Finally, what are the options I am considering based in love?

The wait.

Love waits. Israel waited for their Messiah. I wait for Jesus’ return. I wait for the adoption as a son of God. I wait for answers to my prayers. I wait for the redemption of my body and the day my adversary will be put under men’s feet on earth, not just in heaven. I wait for the good in those I love. I expect it, but they may fail. Yes, my heart may flirt with sickness if I’m deferred, but if it’s a wait, in love, that God is supporting, then he will add strength to my endurance.

But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

James1:4-5NKJV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

John 10:10 (NASB)