Proverbs 13:19 Knowing what I want

A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil. Proverbs 13:19 NIV

Two times in one chapter Solomon writes about human desire being fulfilled. Here in verse 19 it is, “sweet to the soul” where earlier in verse 12 it is, “a tree of life.” Every day, first thing out of bed, sweetness and life would be closer if I set my heart on what I really desire. Sounds simple, but it’s not. There are so many things I may want, but when I consider what they are, what is the most valued? That one thing can both motivate deeply — or frustrate completely when it’s misaligned with reality.

From Strong’s, longing or desires is from the Hebrew avah; a longing; by implication, a delight, desire, either exceedingly or greedily, lust(ing), pleasant. Avah can also carry the idea of craving, or intense desire, as in Psalm 106:14 when Israel craved meat in the wilderness, but also when used of God wanting Zion to be His habitation (Psalm 132:13).

Proverbs 10:24 …the desire of the righteous will be granted.

Proverbs 11:23 The desire of the righteous is only good…

Above all that must be guarded, keep thou thy heart, for out of it are the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

In the New Testament, epipotheo means: I long for, strain after, desire greatly, have affection for.

Jesus said: I, therefore, unto you, say–Be asking, and it shall be given to you, Be seeking, and ye shall find,–Be knocking, and it shall be opened unto you.

Luke 11:9

Desire in the heart of man is a very personal and fragile thing. There is often a duty or obligation, or even a desire in another person close to me, which outweighs another — and I prioritizing it above my personal preference. This is often noble and reflects an even truer desire in the value hierarchy of life. For example, I desire to sleep in on the weekend, but that two year old child in the next room is waking up and sabotages my fulfillment — and rightly so. I value that little girl’s welfare and wellbeing more than I value my sleep. I contrast the two desires — the lower and the higher — but Solomon makes no such distinction. Neither does Jesus. All things that I want and ask for are important to my Heavenly Father. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could both sleep in and that little girl could be cared for? Of course!

In another vein, I have seen men and women systematically devalue their own desire in favor of others. Almost like others are more important or more valuable than they are. To me, at the root of this is the essence of being “unloved.” Not feeling, being, or accepting love for myself. As a result, I ignore or give up my fragile desires — they are trampled under a dismissive foot. If a desire fulfilled is the essence of life and sweetness to my soul, the opposite is being completely disconnected with the rhythm and flow of my soul on the earth — doing activities which do not produce the fruit that the tree of my life should be producing abundantly. It’s like an apple tree forgetting its power to feed and wanting to be a dandelion. It’s silly! Desire is powerful and its fulfillment is even more so. Being dismissed, devalued, disregarded, and de-humanized sounds very much like the work of a thief. Time to call Brinks Security and stop that bad boy. It is one thing to be overlooked by someone. It’s entirely a different issue for me to overlook myself. Of the two most weighty commands Jesus gives me to observe, the second is to love my neighbor — as myself. It starts with me loving me. That is not an elective course, it is a prerequisite for graduating.

Although I have many desires and there is no requirement to choose between them, there comes a time when those desires collide. Understanding those that are the most valuable to me helps me to understand that fulfilling ALL of them is sometimes impossible. Being wealthy and not working are usually mutually exclusive. So are the desires for being deeply rested and having a new born child. Of all the things I desire, want, crave, to me there is none more valuable than knowing God, His son, and understanding His kingdom — while I am still on this earth. I hunger for relationship with Him and am not satisfied until I sync, interface, press against the boundaries of His kingdom. There is a natural curiosity and even a responsibility to be constantly wrapped up in the interests of this world in which He placed me — a world which carries the fragrance of His creativity with every new discovery. And this poses an interesting dilemma — what I choose to “pay attention to”* every day defines the person I become. I am becoming something. Every person is being transformed. From the start to finish life is about becoming. Thus, for me, identifying my “longing” or “desire” is the key to life. If I want to alter my course, it is in the tinkering of the values I hold, the “wants” I decide to pursue.

My desire fulfilled is sweet to my soul — and defines who I am.

On the flip side of the coin, Solomon created a contrast with: “turning from evil” and how abominable, detestable and loathsome it is for a fool. The idea is that he turns from whatever it is he’s currently doing in order to do what serves him better — and he detests it. It’s a funny yet extreme comparison. Think about it: the fool also wants something. But the very discipline and energy needed to get it aren’t tapped or possibly they are misdirected toward another desire, something that has become a lust — something uncontrolled and serving a fleeting impulse or lower nature. Because it has become an obsession, the good he wants and values is pushed aside. Whatever it is that the fool wants he takes no counsel, lifts no finger, exercises no discretion, and expends no energy. Why? Because turning from the present course is too much work. It means doing something different. The good he wants is out of reach because stepping aside from the current course of action is… unpleasant. A change. Different than I’m used to.

That is much of humanity in a nutshell.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

Romans 7:21-24 NIV

In my mind I may believe that I’m pursuing my most significant value or desire, but in my behavior, I’m often the one detesting the very thing I need to do to receive it. If I let go of the short-sighted future, the goals that serve my flesh, and allow my spirit to be open to the relationship and life He’s inviting me to enjoy, my Father gives me the very resource I need to pursue this… His Spirit. The one thing. The only difference. There is no other tool, motivation, secret sauce which fulfills a desire aligned with His kingdom except one — Him.

* “Pay attention to” or focus upon. Direct my attention, the very concentration of my person. Attention span. “Flow” as defined in Wikipedia: In positive psychology, a flow state, also known colloquially as being in the zone, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting loss in one’s sense of space and time.

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