Proverbs 13:20 Hocus focus and becoming

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 13:20 NIV

Friendship is empathy. Understanding, aligning with, and accepting another. When you associate with someone, it creates a natural context for the heart to follow. The tighter a relationship, the more I will become like what I’m observing, accepting, and valuing. Psychologists say that to build a an attachment to another there are core ingredients that promote relationship. The first is “presence”—being in the same space and sharing a physical intersection of proximity, sight, sound, etc. But the second is “sameness”—seeking to be like those you feel close to. When individuals gather in a context of sharing fellowship, it’s natural to imitate each other on many levels. This is why it is important to choose friends wisely — they will affect my life simply by observing them.

The Hebrew for walk means, to go, come, or walk (and many more like float, fled, accompany, travel). It is the state of being found in action. Living life is not stationary, the heart is constantly beating, the clock ticking, moment by moment is found in movement and energy spent. The action which corresponds to the one with whom I choose to associate translates aptly to “walk with” a friend or companion.

Besides being a proverb about the quality of who I befriend, I consider the possibilities when I walk with the ultimate wise one, Jesus. The more time in his “presence” the more likely the “sameness.” Who he is, is what I become. Wise, humble, joy-filled, at peace, intentional, loving humanity, seeing and hearing the sights and words of the invisible kingdom, aware, connected to his Father.

So many New Testament references speak of observing Jesus and becoming like him: “Look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith… who considered it all joy.” “Learn of me, I am meek and lowly in heart… you will find rest.” “Come after me, follow me, deny yourself…” “I have given you an example [washing their feet].”

Nearly everyone on this planet has some sort of character flaw — so who doesn’t qualify as the “fool” that Solomon identifies? If people took his words literally, we would all die lonely lives. I know at times I qualify as the fool and in fact would not want anyone to emulate my foolish traits, especially those of which I am presently unaware. But I wouldn’t want to be shunned because of it either. To shun fools would mean I shun everyone! But I don’t think this is what he is writing. Rather, when I recognize a foolish trait or expression or philosophy in another and choose to embrace it, accept it, and ultimately own it, I will become like it. WhenI know it is harmful, if I choose to associate with it, it will affect me. Solomon states it plainly, you will suffer harm. So, it is good to listen to the warnings of friends:

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.

1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 22:24-25 NIV

It’s easy to walk with fools (all people qualify). Yet, in each human is also a piece of the kingdom of heaven. The important thing is being aware of what it is that is drawing me to another. As I find that piece of the kingdom —even in someone I wouldn’t expect to—I become like that which I view, embrace and value — as I walk with them. The issue isn’t avoiding sin, it’s keeping my eyes on the virtue and value in another, not that which will eventually harm me.

In the book of Acts, soon after Jesus’ disciples had been filled with the Holy Spirit, they boldly proceeded to live out their faith. When the Jewish leaders questioned them, then tried to stop them, they had this revelation:

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

Acts 4:13 NIV

But even more significant than being with another human is being filled with the Spirit. I have the opportunity to gaze constantly at the wise one who fills me. He connects me with new sight, new fellowship. He directs my vision. And I become like him.

In Acts, Jesus said, “You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.” Dunamis. Physical power. I’m not sure what that will look like. To grasp it in this moment seems beyond where I am. Yet, the promise remains. As I spend time with Jesus, the very power that infused his life, will infuse my life.

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

1 John 3:2 NIV